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La muy noble y antigua ciudad de Deeneim, erigida en tiempos inmemoriales sobre un DNI caducado de Nuestro Señor José Hilario, el Altísimo, el Misericordioso, se enfrenta a su hora más grave. El enemigo está a las puertas, los centauros del desierto de los tártaros baten la llanura con pezuña de hierro, y sólo un oscuro personaje se interpone en su camino, de nariz afilada y extraña pelambre, capitán por más señas, aunque nunca pasó de recluta. Surgido de ninguna parte y con pocas trazas de héroe o redentor, sabe al menos esto: el tabaco perjudica seriamente la salud del infiel.
